Wooooo Hooooo.... I did the seat belt up on the plane....

I have just spent a week in a fabulous hotel with my partner Warren and his Mum and Dad in Lanzarote.  I could not have wished for a better holiday.  The weather was great, only one rain storm and cloudy day, the rest of the week were blue sky and between 20 and 25 degrees.  I have achieved quite a lot in the last week.  My first achievment was on the plane... I was able to do up my seat belt without an extender... I can't remember the last time I did that and it has been one of my main goals from the start of this.  It really did bring a tear to my eye.  Usually when I go on holiday I dont spend a lot of time at the pool as i am usually a bit embarassed in a swimming costume.  This time I was in the pool a lot, I did aqua fit every day and took part in many more activities, I was dancing right in the centre of the complex for the club games and even went on stage at night to collect a certificate I had won during the day.  They made me do the same stupid dance I had to do during the day to collect my bottle of bubbles.  I would never have done that before.

Food wise... going all inclusive was a really good choice.  I did not have to give any explanations to anyone or order small portions, I could just take what i want from the buffet, make it look like an adult size meal by adding lots of lettuce and spreading it around and was able to leave what I want, pushing it all back up into a corner to make it look like i had eaten more than a few ounzes!  I know before I went away I was not eating enough and it was still really hurting to eat.  I have really moved on to the next stage and feel much happier with what I can eat.  I kept active most of the time so did not worry if I had fattening food too much.  However I did put on a pound in the week.  (must have been the alcohol!!!) I am not upset though as I will lose that again over the next couple of days and Its been a long time since I only put on one pound whilst on holiday.

The best thing was that I felt good about myself... Ok  I am still not a skinny chick in a bikini but I did not stand out for being too fat, I did not miss out on anything I wanted to do because I was incapable or not fit enough or too embarrassed!  I dressed up and thought I looked good. This is such a good feeling and knowing its only going to get better is just fantastic!

MORE GOALS HIT...

Well I have another 2 of my goals this week, I have finally got into a size 18 and I am now able to shop in most shops.  I am still not quite out of my comfort zone and bought my first size 18 trousers from Evans but thats not the point.... I did it!  I have hit another milestone this week too, I am now in the 15'sssss!!!!! I am now 15st 13llb, which means I will never see 16st 17st 18 st 19st and 20st ever again!!!! what an amazing feeling.  Only those who have been through this can know how this feels, and I just can't explain it.  I have now lost a total of 4st 6llbs (60llbs) and its not even 3 months since my operation. 

I am going on holiday next Sunday, subject to the airport not being closed due to snow and subject to the Spanish air traffic controllers get their arses back to work!!!!  I started buying clothes a little while ago in a size 18 not knowing whether I would make it, but I have.  More than anything I am hoping to hit one more of my goals..... no seatbelt extender!!!! wouldn't that be amazing!!!!  I cant wait to try! either way... I hope I don't cry!!!

1st Christmas Party of 2010

Total weight loss now 4 stone 2llbs (58llbs).  Down 4 dress sizes and still my clothes are a bit loose!  This is great. Keeping up with the aqua fit and even the instructor has pointed out the difference in what I can do compared to when I started.  I am just all round feeling so much healthier and fitter.  If this is the difference the first 4 stone has made I can't wait to see what difference the next 4 stone will make to me.  I am really enjoying the compliments, its been so long since I had any thing other than 'you've got a pretty face'!!!!


After the halloween party I remembered just how much I liked fancy dress but it got so difficult the bigger I got.  So now its a little easier, I thought I would start organising some more. Last night I had a girlie party with a Christmas theme.  A fabulous time was had by all, everyone made such an effort to dress up and I, for the first time since I can't even remember, wore a dress!!!  I had so many compliments.  I am again feeling very lucky to be surrounded by such good friends.  Thought I would share a few photos...

 

A Welsh Weekend

This last week has been very up and down..literally!  pound on... pound off... pound on.. you get the picture!!!  But the good news is overall I have lost another 3llbs,  53llbs in total now.  I am definatley into a size 20 and still hoping to get into an 18 by my holiday in 27 days time!! don't think I will make it but I am going to have a dam good go.

I had an excellent weekend this weekend.  Its my Mums birthday this week so I went to Wales to take her out for the day.  We managed to get tickets for the CIA where they were showing Wales v South Africa Rugby on the big screen and had 7 bands playing over the course of the day.  The head liner as far a s I am concerned was Goldie Lookin Chain who were just brilliant, hadn't really heard of the other bands but the audience seemed to know who they were.  Maybe I am getting old!!! Anyway, I would like to wish my Mum a very Happy Birthday for the 19th and say what a fabulous time I had with you on Saturday.  3 months ago I would never have been able to stand, and jump and dance for that long... my legs would not have taken it!  Maybe next time we do a whole weekend festival???? lol!

This weeks Woman Magazine, issue 46....

Thats me.......

Time to SHOP!!!!!

Just had a wardrobe clear out!!!! my previously bulging wardrobe has been reduced to this!!! It is great that the few items left are ones that I have not fit in for years some of them still have tags on as they did not fit when they were bought, but I have nothing to wear!!!!!  So I have spent the last hour or so trying to replenish my fading cupboard.  Not to mention I am going on holiday in December so I have had to shop for that too... So far I have purchased 17 items today.  Must get the  ones that are to big for me there to sell so I have more money to buy MORE clothes... this is fun.....  I LOVE MY SLEEVE....

The Big 5 0

Not a huge amount to report this week.  Been working hard, work seems to be picking up after a very quiet October... dam the media!!! Been to Aqua Fit on Tuesday and Thursday and I am now thinking of joining another class at the weekend.  I have felt my clothes getting looser but only a loss of 3llbs this week.  Not to worry as that brings my total weight loss over another hurdle.... the 50llb mark.... YEY!!!!  I have now lost 4 clothes sizes!!! I feel amazing, everyone has noticed and tell me how great I look.  I seem to have developed a false sense of confidence which is funny, I feel slimmer than I am at the moment! Weird thing to say, I know!  I walk down the street and I don't get as many people staring at me as I used too but if they do, I wonder what they are staring at!  forgetting I am actually still fat!

I am appearing in Woman magazine next week (issue 46) which is exciting!  I won some money on bingo and they called to ask what I was going to spend the money on,  well I just happen to need a whole new wardrobe! so they have made a feature of it.  If you do buy a copy, be aware that my idea of sexy beachwear is losing the giant sarong!!! lol!!!

I  am going out for a meal at a friends house tonight.  This is going to be a new experience.  Not done this since the op, so I will try to mind my table manners and not burp too much!!!

Well until next time...... happy losing xxx

Happy Halloween...

Had a fabulous night at a very good friends Halloween party. Only thing this has to do with my weight loss is just how comfortable and confident I felt dressing up and going out!!!! Its been such a long time since I looked forward to a good fancy dress party!!! Thought I would share a few photos...

Goal posts and Aqua Fit

Well this week has been another good week.  I have joined a gym and am easing myself in with two aqua fit classes per week.  When I feel a little stronger I will start more classes and use the gym itself.  Today I weigh 17 stone exactly which not only means I have lost 5llbs this week but It means I am that much closer to hitting the next goal post!!! I am hoping by Monday I will have a 16 in front of my weight which means I can say goodbye forever to 20st, 19st 18st and 17st.  I really can't believe quite how quickly this is going!  Just 8 and a half weeks ago I was wearing size 26/28 and now I am 20/22... just one or two more months till I open up my shopping experience and not have to go to the frumpy corner at the back!!!

It is getting so much easier to eat and drink.  Not so much pain and mostly I don't look like I am having a heart attack whenever I attempt to eat something other than yogurt.  Still can't eat much but I suppose I had better get used to that!  

Doc has now put me on multi vitamins and extra calcium.  The multi vitamins contain Biotin which I am happy about as everyone seems to be recommending that to minimise hair loss.  My skin has gone very dry so I hope they help with that too.  

I am going to a Halloween party tonight and I am dressing up,  I have not done that for years, and quite frankly never felt the need to paint myself green!! but tonight I am going too. For the first time in ages my cup is half full, I am looking forward to tonight, I am looking forward to what the next week will bring and I am looking forward to the rest of my life.  I am so happy to have my sleeve!

Pre & Post....

Hit the 3 Stone Mark!!!!!

I am so happy......

Today I stepped on the scales to find I have hit the 3 stone (42llbs) mark!!!!!

And to top that off I have managed not only to get into a coat I have not worn for 3 years, but I had my suit jacket underneath and I did the zip up with plenty of room!!! What a good day!!!

Oh What a night....

I am feeling so good today.. I am now 5 weeks post op and I am 38 llbs down.  I can't believe how different I feel!  Looking back to the weight going on, my biggest problems really started in the last couple of stone I had put on.  The reason this is weird is because it took a couple of years to put that on whereas its taken a less than a couple of months to lose it!  I have been in so much pain for what seems like forever with my knee and leg.  I have arthritis and a collapsed arch, at some points I could hardly walk with it and when I did it was mostly with a limp!  Yet in such a short space of time I am walking up to 6 miles and there is no pain!  

Last night I went out on the town with a couple of friends.  Something I have not done for a while because I felt so uncomfortable with myself and I also could not stand up for very long.  But last night, I dressed up in an outfit I bought over a year ago on ebay but it was too small and looked stupid, last night it fitted lovely, I wore heals!!!! YEY another goal hit!  I have not been able to wear heals for a long time.  Granted my tootsies were a little sore at the end of the night but that may have been able to do with the fact I danced all night!!!  I had such a good time,  I even got down on the floor with a group of random strangers and did 'Oops up side your head'  and the best part was, I was able to get back up on my own!  

Another new thing for me was the effects of alcohol!!! I had 3 drinks and actually felt drunk!  I am such a cheap date now!  And as it goes out of your blood stream as quick as it goes in..... No Hangover!!! 

I LOVE MY SLEEVE...

Exercise...

What a week... I have just spent a week in Mathry in West Wales and I have not done so much exercise since I really can't remember.  Just two months ago i struggled to walk 3 and a half miles yet on my first day in Mathry, only 2 stone lighter and I walked 6 miles!!! granted my other half had to push me for the last half a mile!!!! I climbed cliffs and walked through the countryside along coastal paths and I really enjoyed myself.  I have probably done more exercise in the last week than I have done in the last year!  I have come home to find I have only lost 3llbs!!!!  I have a horrible cold so I am hoping there may be some fluid retention from that!   The good news is I tried on some  new bras while I was away and I have lost 4 inches off my  back!!! maybe  I have built up a bit of muscle which as we all know is heavier!  I will definatley be keeping up the walking... you get to see some truly amazing countryside.  Back to work Monday so have to go shopping to buy some new work clothes... this is great!!!!  I LOVE MY SLEEVE!!!

In Stitches!!!!

Well yesterday I had my stitches taken out.  Something I had been dreading all week.  I would not let my other half come in with me after the state of him when he saw me come out of surgery.  I know now that he can't cope seeing me in pain.  But what was I worried about??? It was actually a relief!  The tightness and the pullling of the stitches had been causing pain and now it was gone!  Excellent!  So I collected my other half and went to find our car, just as we leave the hospital car park, he misjuded the corner and went up and over a curb! OUCH!!! that hurt!  was not till I got home that I found 2 of my wounds were now open again!!!  Imagine what he could have done if he had actually come in with me! 

Anyway still weighing myself everyday and up until yesterday I had lost 25llbs, how exciting!  today has been the first day I have not lost any llbs.  I think that maybe because after coming back from hospital I did not feel well.  I was more tired than I have been so far, I took a 3 hour nap, missed my afternoon snack then brought my dinner straight back up again.  I tryed to have a bananna smoothie after that but could not even swallow.  I gave up and went to bed and slept right through till this morning.  Today I feel good and have kept my food down.  I have managed to keep down a lot of fluid also.  I am scared my body will go into starvation mode if I don't keep up with eating.  It is so hard when you are just not hungry. 

Today I met some friends for a coffee and obviously every one was sitting round waiting for me to finish my drink!  In the end one of my friends stood up and said 'I have to go' without thinking I picked up my cup which had about an inch and a half of coffee left and knocked it back! OUCH again! I regretted that immediatley.  I think my friends thought I was having a heart attack!  When will my head catch up with my tummy!!!!!

Experimenting with pureed food...

Good News

16.5llbs down!

This morning I weighed myself and was happy to find the I am now 16.5llbs down.  I have also today discovered the first pureed dish that I have enjoyed the taste of!  my stomach felt a little unsure about it though.  I chopped 1 carrot, 1 sweet potato and 1 small chicken breast, sauteed them in a little butter then added 500mls of vegetable stock, brought to the boil and simmered until reduced.  I then pureed it and made up 3 meals out of it.  I had one for lunch and will freeze the other two.  It tasted really good but I did have to water it down a little as it hurt going down.  I have noticed that my taste buds seem to be working better than before!  yesterday I watered down and pureed some refried beans, and I have to say in all the times I have had refried beans I have never noticed that they were spicy, yet yesterday I noticed it so much I had to add some yoghurt to cool my mouth down.  

I have been trying to keep busy and active but finding today a little harder than yesterday.  I'm very tired today.I had a few friends visit me yesterday and I was so perky I expect they are wondering  what on earth I am doing off work!!!  I think I thought that for a while too, but I have very different energy levels today. Suppose it will take a while for my body to adjust.

Day 4 Post Op...

Well what a rollercoaster of a few days this has been.  I was released from hospital on Saturday night after they gave me some pureed cottage pie and made sure I ate it ok.  I got on the scales on Sunday morning to find that I was 5llbs up from pre op weight! I posted on the support group site and was assured it was due to the water and gas that had built up.  I spent Sunday going through my freezer and cupboards working out what foods to keep and what to do with them.  I decided to make up a few different dishes freeze portions for my partner and puree and freeze portions for me.  They did not taste very nice but its only for a few weeks then I can slowly move towards solids.  It is really difficult to eat, I still have to think each time about taking a small amount of food. It is very uncomfortable if you eat too much at once.  It feels like my whole day is around food though.  I wake up, I have my antacid tablet.  I then take an hour to eat my half a weetabix, then a little while later I have to try and get some water in before I have to stop for my 11am snack.   I have 2 oz yoghurt for my snack, then again have to get some water in before having to stop for lunch.  And so it continues throughout the day!  I suppose this is all going to get easier.  Good news today is that I have started to deflate!  I have now lost the 5llbs I put on in hospital and lost a further 1/2 llb, grand total now 13.5llb loss.  I am hoping this week will see a big difference! It has too...  I have already started putting my clothes on ebay!

The Operation

I arrived at the Spire in Southampton at 6:30am yesterday morning.  I was shown to my room and told I was first on the list and would be taken down at 8:30am.  I don't think I have ever been as frightened in my life as I was then.  I remember the anaesthetist saying that I may feel a little drunk and that was it I woke up in recovery.  I don't remember a lot about yesterday but I do remember it being quite painful.  I was in and out of sleep all day.  This morning they removed the tube from my nose, which was the worst bit about today!!  They have taken me off morphine and put me on calpol.  I have gone from being in agony, feeling like I been beaten up whilst drunk, to feeling like I have wind!  I can't believe how quickly I am recovering.  I am generally a bit of wimp so this really is quite surprising.  Tonight I have had my first cup of tea.  I was given it a 9pm, its now 10:40pm and I am about half way through!  I am determined to finish it before I go to bed.  They say tomorrow I will have some pureed food.  Not sure what it will be and I don't feel hungry, even though I have not eaten for two and a half days, so not sure how that is going to go down.  Although I was so scared, I already know I have done the right thing.  I can't wait to start seeing some results.

Doughnuts

I started my Pre-op diet a few days early so I have now been on it a week and 4 days.

To my surprise i have lost 10.5 llbs already!

I have to have a small portion of no sugar museli or weetabix with skimmed milk for breakfast, 2oz (50g) of lean meat or fish with salad for lunch, 20z of lean meat, fish or 3oz Quorn for dinner with vegetables, and either 2 small potatoes, 2 tbsp rice or 2 tbsp of pasta. I am not allowed root veg. I am allowed 2 pieces of fruit a day and 1 small fat free yoghurt.

The first 4 days or so were so hard, I really struggled, in fact I cheated one day and had an extra piece of fruit! but very quickly my body has got used to this and is not craving anything. I don't feel hungry and don't really feel like i'm missing out. I am not getting in my yoghurt or my fruit everyday either. I feel great! I am awake and alert during the day and I am sleeping all night, neither of which have happened for a long time. I don't whether it is all the diet or because I have so much on at work. I happen to be having my busiest week since I started the job last may! typical! I would have a fabulous month if I was there for the whole month! never mind, My health in the long term is more important, nothing is going to stop me having this operation on Thursday. I know I am still scared but I do not have the time to worry about it!

I am finding the time to check out other blogs I am following and check the updates on the FB support group wall. I think I may be addicted to that now! I am finding it such a comfort. Even if I am reading about peoples troubles! The comfort there is the comments all the other members leave, everyone is so supportive.

I am feeling proud of myself today because one of my business development managers brought me in a box of 12 doughnuts, all iced and pretty, looked good enough to eat! Anyway as I passed them round the staff, two members of staff said 'go on have one, one won't hurt' I was not even tempted! I said no, I meant no, and I stuck to no. I just wish I could have done all this long term in the past. Then maybe I would not be in this position in the first place!

One week in...

Its been one week since I started my diet. I have lost 9llbs since monday! If this was a normal diet I would already know it would not be long before I put that back on and then some. But this is not normal! I will never 'eat normal' again. Those 9llbs have gone for good and there are so many more llbs to follow! I have got to be happy about that, so I have to ask myself why I feel so depressed? I know I am having carb withdrawl symthoms, I have had the same feelings on the Atkins diet. I have started patches as I was not doing so well with the giving up smoking along with everything else so I am not having nicotine withdrawl! I just can't stop thinking about the op itself. The closer it is getting the more scared I am. I just need the next week and a half to hurry up! I just can't wait for my new life to start.

I have been out for a walk today, it was lovely, but I am very tired. Either the lack of carbs or its all in my head! I am going to join a ramblers group as soon as I am fit enough. I will have to work my way up to it though as the short walks seem to be around 6 miles, that seems so far right now! I have ordered a few books on ebay for short walks and plan to do at least 2 a week along with aqua fit twice a week. I am so determined to be fit enough for the 27 mile walk next September. I have some family and friends who have said they would to join me in that walk, I feel so supported by that. I am so thankful to those around me and are going through this with me. I have some wonderful friends.

The Weigh In...

This morning my was my first weigh in.  I am 20 St 5llbs (285llbs), my BMI is 47.5.  It feels good knowing that this is it... this is the most it will ever be!  I don't usually feel comfortable telling people how much I weigh but for some reason, today it feels ok.  I have taken photos and I will continue to take these monthly.  I have stopped smoking today and have started a diet ready for my pre-op diet on Thursday.  I still have a mixture of emotions.  I am wondering today why there does not seem to be anybody over 2 years post op in the support groups.  If the first ops in the UK were done in 2002, why is everyone in the group so recent!  Even when I search You Tube everyone seems so recent!  I would really like to speak to someone who has had this a while, I want to know if everything is the same long term.  If you have had the sleeve for over 2 years please email me, I have a lot of questions for you. 

The Starting Point...

My name is Jacky, I am 37 years old and i am a little over 20 stone. I am about to make the biggest change in my life. On September 9th 2010 I am having a Gastric Sleeve, (Weight loss surgery) at the Spire in Southampton.

I have been overweight pretty much most of my adult life. I was not a fat child but I was larger than the other children. Mum tells me its because I was fed properly, the other kids were too skinny. I remember the words puppy fat being used a lot as a teenager. I have battled my way through adulthood on diet after diet, with my clothes size ranging from 12 to 22 for the most part. I am now at my heaviest and wearing clothes size 26/28. A year ago I was diagnosed with PCOS and told this was a reason for finding it so difficult to lose weight, my doctor suggested a gastric band and referred me through the NHS. I was refused, I am just not fat enough. I have to have a BMI of over 65, a heart attack or become diabetic. I wrote to my local MP but being at a point of a general election, he had more important things on his mind. I decided to look into going private. I met Mr Van Den Bosshe at the Spire in Southampton. He expained the options to me, and I decided against the Gastric Band, it comes with to many complications and continuous care. I have decided on the Gastric Sleeve, and this is permanent, this is going to be a whole new way of life.

Last night I had a party at my house to celebrate the start of my new life. It was the last time I will ever drink and eat what ever I wanted. Tomorrow I start a diet to ease me into my Pre Op Diet which starts on Thursday.

I have set a goal for myself, this is not a weight goal or a size goal, this is a fitness goal. One year on from my surgery on 9th September 2011, my goal is to be fit enough to walk 27 miles across Hadrians Wall, raising money for charity at the same time.